Purged by Sparticle

A rose by any other name. . .

Tuesday had me tempted to drink heavily and drive into oncoming traffic. But, due to time constraints, I simply ate Girl Scout cookies and watched the bachelor ladies tell all .

Three's Company

Flicking through the channels, I just caught sight of Don Knotts. In color and definately post Ghost and Mrs. Chicken. I kept moving but kept wondering just what I had caught sight of. What was he doing in orange pants and a tan ascot? Oh yeah, Three's Company. How sad. He wasn't even the first choice for the role. Mr. Roper died, remember?

Flashback to casting:

"We need a consumate actor. Someone who can evoke the spirit and hip vibe of a naiive landlord, without dimming and overshadowing the memory of Mr. Roper. And, more importantly, who's available to start on Monday?"

Writer's Strike

Notes: Because of the strike, there is no inspired title. Because of the strike, I lifted this post directly from my brother's blog. It's okay because he does not read my blog.

Ah, writers strike, what will you bring? Seems like only 20 years ago that forever fresh Johnny Depp crossed the union label under the guise of 21 Jump Street narky boy Tom Hanson. Depp, or should I call him Willie Sparrow Hands?, transitioned from union buckler to swashbuckler proving he is beyond the grip of the evil unions. Ironically Tom Hanson would have been a member of  the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association as one of New York’s finest.

How It's Made

This show handles just how it's made, whether crayons or spatulas perfectly. Three products are covered in every half hour segment so it moves at a pretty fast clip.  But they slow down the production line just when it gets overwhelming and the narrator anticipates your every thought.

Like after machines spend oodles of seconds getting brass just right, a human comes along to shape it into a cymbal. At this point you can't help but be terrified that all that mixing and pounding will have been in vain. This is when the narrator jumps in with "Don't worry. He's been doing this for years" so you can just relax.

One downside is that just when you really start to get it, something will be a "carefully guarded trade secret." Because not knowing the exact pressure at which foam is extruded is apparently what keeps us from making our own mannequins.

Today's marathon promises to demystify vegetable oil. This one's always baffled me. I don't know about you, but the veggies I eat just don't seem all that greasy.

Family Feud

"Top five answers are on the board. Name a furry animal that looks like it crawled on to Donald Trump's head and died."

Going back to work next week is going to be so hard.

Age of Love

Kittens vs. Cooters. Looks like  Mark  Philippoussis has some easy choices to make. 

The Real Desperate Housewives of Orange County

I'm not sure how desperate they are, but they seem far from real. Having watched several episodes, I'm convinced that the pleasure of living in a gated community comes from being free of the endless choices the rest of us slobs have to make on a daily basis. There is only one kind of car - lexus. One type of sunglasses - Chanel. One type of dog - fugly. I could go on but my last viewing was interrupted when David asked "which one of them do you like?" How horrifying. This show follows the lives of five adult women. Out of that many, how could he think I liked only one? I usually like people. At least 50% of them on most days. So wouldn't the odds give me more than one?

But it was no use. I could not plead the case for any of them to be even remotely likable. Maybe it's the editing?

Why Tyra Didn't Make it on the Pageant Circuit

This might explain why she was so hard on Cassandra.

Falsly Arrested Development

Years ago I cancelled cable when Seinfeld ended. I tried to synchcronize the end to both, but ended up pushing the envelope and subsequently running to my mom's house to watch the finale. And it turned out the trip over was not worthwhile. Seinfeld's underwhelming and unsatisfying "end" left me convinced it would be back on the air when their sentence was up. Unlike Seinfeld, where I never caught an episode during it first few years on the air, Arrested Development had me at "This is a story. . ."

Where else can you find a show where EVERY character is so necessary and so complete? Just what show will inspire things like this?

Me: I just don't like you that way.
All the Rest of Television: What way?
Me: Pick one.

I should really have sub-categories for my television posts. "So you Don't have to Watch" and "In Case you Didn't." Arrested Development fell under the latter. I cried while watching the last episode. I started with the sniffles when during a commercial FF, I could clearly see the meter indicating the end of the tape was near. But Michael's speech made it necesswary to squealch sobs. There was nothing too smarmy about it. I was just in a highly emothional state due to this series interuptus.

Speculation

Crazy bit of telly this evening. Do you think GW saw what I saw? Some kind of Court TV or Dateline presentation of prison life? Do you think he would watch it? Voluntarily? What about Maurey Povich or Judge Joe Brown?