Purged by Sparticle

Word needs an insult checker

A Conversation I need to Continue with My Mother-in-law.

Discussion so far:

"Have you made plans for Christmas?"

Judy: "What do you mean?" Clearly, I mean have you made plans for Christmas?

"I would like to be home on Christmas Eve." Unsaid: we've gone to your house on Christmas eve for seventeen years and I would like to be home for this one.

"I just thought we would do what we always do."

So I have to be clearer. "Could we do it earlier? Like noon?" Unsaid: no one has a job to work around so who cares when we do this?

"Well, it's not like you really celebrate Christmas."

Unsaid: You've done a great job of getting us all together to sit around and eat and then eat some more. And the flurry of phone calls making sure everyone is buying things exclusively from other's lists is truly inspired. In fact, so well done gifts are often duplicated. But I want my kids to be able to attend and unless we do it earlier, they cannot.

Her response is her world famous "I'll think about it." She doesn't ask why I want the change or what time I'd like to see it scheduled. Nine days later she is still "thinking about it." Or so I guess, since I haven't heard any differently. At this point, I feel the need to send her an email. Actually open Word first and choose my words carefully. And, it should be obvious to even the casual reader, this is something I just don't do.

But just now it occurs to me to let it go. If she can get those ham roll-ups on the table by noon - great. If not, I will spend the evening at my sister's. A perfect win-win.

A Confession

This is why I've been so prompt with my replies lately.

 

Six More Weeks

I would have brained Phil before he ever got a chance to look for his shadow.

Whooda thunk it?

Right out front some competitive fifth of July firework displays. Smack talk involved some "which gas station did you buy those at?" among the neighbors.

Sparticle fought back with some snakes and sparklers. A brave heckler mocked us with "do you have any smoke bombs?"

I  timed a mighty powerful: "my eye! You got me in the eye!" jumped in the car, and peeled out.

How's YOUR Head?

Mood: Smug (Click there)

Yukon Dave

Thanksgiving

You know how people try to one up each other with holiday preparations? The competion ratcheted up a notch this year. Food was secondary to our little halelujah to all the things that make us grateful.

Monk wore pilgrim shoes (you know - black, clunky, big buckles) and colors that would help her blend in to the decor. She could simply flatten herself against a wall and stay safely out of harm's way. Contessa Tina wore a pilgrim inspired cape but checked any puritanical impulses at the door. She drank her dinner before mistaking Monk for a hand rail.

Rain struggled with the task of keeping clothed. He was relieved when Monk spilled a margarita on him and he had a legitimate reason to de-pants. Rik, who high fived Rain with  "live free, live naked," appeared almost normal in a Peruvian sheep herder - train conductor kind of way.

D & Kev hippied up to show their gratitude for the defunct status of the Thompson campaign. Michael summed up the spirit of a holiday that mandates we all be in the same house by choosing a T with emlazoned with "HELP!" River made an impecable Austin Scarlett. RayRay went with a subtle as a zebra referee reference.  My mom wore her infamous reindeer skin pants. David and I in matching purple velvet blazers didn't stand a chance.

Rain simply appreciated the magic of the day:

"It's pretty cool how you turned that bird into a turkey" - on seeing it before and after roasting.

"And now you are turning it in to ham!" - on seeing it carved.

.

Plans

Tarot claims that if I go out for my birthday, debauchery and regret will ensue.

So, what should I wear? Because that is obviously the way to avoid the regret part.

Day & Night Olympiad

The  Trinidad-Tobago vs. Palestine games ended in a tie!

The solstice didn't leave enough night for Hamas or Tobago to run out of chips. And the spinner. The spinner "wouldn't even go there" when asked to pick a winner.  From Bolo Ball Toes to Poker Feet, we gave it our all.

I guess, in the end, we have to give props to TT for endurance.

Here's Tobago looking for Trinidad's lost blue chip after he blew his stack on an all in against my straight.

 

Memorial

It's taken so long to say something about RoobaPalooza because I've been framing it with "next year. . . " And when the only thing you would have done different was to bring a fifty cup coffee maker instead of clothes you never found the time to change, what's that? Nothing to blog about. But for next time - and this is ultra important, worth remembering, and thus blog worthy - GoogleMap Barrels and Barrels and More Barrels if Barrels and Barrels won't take a reservation.

Eventually, our hosts might want to invest in a few of these.