Purged by Sparticle

Status Update

Big changes here at Sparticle. This site is now drug free. And as such, I'm trying not to be all Carrie Nation about it. We're cool, dear reader.

But I must confess the incredible difficulty ofsummoning the level of self absorption that a blog like this thrives on. Hence, the infrequent posts. I just want it to be clear, typepad, that I don't need to be emailed "10 Tips for finding new blog topics." Even without weed, I can still generate 2,000+ per day.

My resolve to get back into blogging is all about resisting Facebook. I like FBmore than myspace, which, until the emailed friend request from "Yvonne" yesterday, I had not logged onto for months. And once on there, I couldn't help but go through the list of people I might know. My ex-husband was the second person that came up. Hm-mm. I just don't like the seven degrees of separation of it all.

When Ruby's email askedabout David's syrup making, I freaked out a bit. Had Google maps gone live? But I didn't have time to think about it since David called from work, and, bored in his office, randomly read me his facebook posts: "Jake wrote on my wall. "Ed Brunette wants to know how long it takes to boil maple sap." Ahhh. His facebook status is set at "making syrup" or some such.

Seriously, although my blog is technically public, it seems much more private. Occasionally, there is a lot of "outside" traffic. Once, I was briefly a headline on Drudge Report, and on November 11 my site hits went through the stratosphere. Although I have no idea what prompted it since I didn't check that out at the time. Maybe Blessed Herbal Colon Cleanse went public on the NYSE. It doesn't matter. These are just random hits that have nothing to do with me. No one just looking for me, not students, family, or neighbors, can purposely land here.

And that, dear reader, keeps Sparticle (somewhat) honest.

ibe

I walk the thinnest line

between the good and dark sides of my mind. At the grocery today, I saw a geezer with incredibly ambitious ringlets. The woman caught my stare, so I gushed about the glory of her hair. She thanked me profusely and when she caught up with me at the end of every aisle, her smile positively blinded me. False teeth never need orthodontia I suppose.

Although I know I created that smile, it's hard to feel good about it. If I had my camera, she'd be on here with clever Nellie Olsen jokes.

The Decider

                      Date Ball takes all the guess work out of relationships. With answers ranging from "Of course!" to "Why Not?" it's no wonder Hillary never saw it coming on last night's Bachelor.

Right?

My dentist just gave me an estimate of $1,700 for a root canal. Crazy dude, I wouldn't have a root canal if he gave me $1,700.

Hello!

So much time - so little to do. Scratch that.  Reverse it.

Emily and I are going to set up a Kool-Aid stand to raise money to pay off her library fine. She says everyone knows her grandpa and if someone comes up because we try to poison them we can just give the police his name and they will okay it. So don't worry about us.

Rain will be charge of holding the sign.

Resolution

In addition to my already rigorous daily regimen, I'm going to stretch more. Yes, I've said this in the past. But this time feel free to ask "how's the stretching going?" or comment on my flexibility. That's just the sort of thing I need to keep my resolve.

Of course, if three subsequent inquiries or comments fail to illicit anything more than a furrowed brow, cease your hounding.

Proactive

Poor david. Serena has gone all Minority Report on him and is angry about something he hasn't done yet.

I'm not quite convinced to convict just yet so will have to make do by getting over-mad at him for minor issues.

Moderated Comments

Morris Young's comment spam on "Organic Velvet" apparently acted as flypaper for more of the same. Deluged by spam, it seemed the best option was to restrict comments.  Turns out not only do you not have to wade through offers of free viagara, I'm really saving you from yourselves.

Have you people no dignity? Do you really want those sniveling "Please, Sparticle, please update" pleas posted for all to see?

u.s. patent no. 3,167,440